Why I don't want to be a good person.

Too much pressure.

Ok, ok, I'll preface.

I come face to face with the argument "I'm not worried about what happens after death, I'm a good person" on a pretty regular basis. Sometimes it's a discussion I have with myself about people I know, sometimes it's a discussion with another person.

Who wouldn't want to believe that all good people go to heaven? I sure do. But that doesn't make it believable... not because it shouldn't be true, but because of that word... GOOD. It's quite problematic.

First of all, who defines what it is to be "good"?

I think we can pretty much agree that it's impossible to be 100% good all the time. So how much good are we talking here? The mathematician in me says at least 50% good must be required, as that would round up to completely good. So then, what would be the difference between a person who is 49% good versus 50% good? One more dollar in the Salvation Army Ringer's tin bucket?

And what if you just happen to pass away when you're not at a particularly good point in your life? Like say today, you're only 49% good, but tomorrow you were going to decide to donate all your worldly goods to the needy, but too bad you pass away tonight and didn't get to do that.

On top of that... who decides what it means to be a good person? I think most people who know me would say I'm a "give the person the benefit of the doubt" kinda girl and would say that most people I meet are pretty good people. But I know of plenty of people who don't share my feelings and wouldn't consider the same person "good" that I would. Who's opinion matters? And do you need to consider yourself a good person as well, or is that considered prideful, and hence not good, so you need to think of yourself as not good to be considered good?

I think you can see the problem here.

It's impossible to define "good" in such a way to concretely determine someone's eternity... to know exactly "where they will go" after death. It is, actually, quite possible, and quite simple, to know one's fate with faith in Christ. I think a lot of the issue may actually come with the fact that it seems too simple, too inclusive. "So, you're saying I just need to believe Christ died for my sins, and my fate is sealed?" Well, in a word, absolutely. But, with true faith, with a genuine relationship with the God who created you, the Son who died for you & the father who gave Him to us, and the Spirit that fills us with purpose, belief, reassurance, love, patience, etc etc, comes the desire to be good, to be Christ-like, and, yes, the guilt you feel when you do something you know is not good.

So, for me, I don't want to rely on my "goodness" to get me through this life and into heaven. No... I'll live by faith, and trust my convictions, my feelings, and my Lord to lead me to be "good" in the eyes of others. And not that that's always easy, but at least I'm never alone.

**Now, I try to look at this post from a non-believer's perspective, or someone who once believed has since turned away, and I do see where questsions come up, doubts arise, anger/frustration/bad feelings/you know what I'm saying.... I do try to look at every issue from as many perspectives as I can, and learn more about other perspectives so I can answer those questions myself. I'm still searching, but that's a part of faith that, while I have difficulty accepting sometimes, I also feel secure in the fact that I don't need to have all of the answers either. That being said... maybe we'll address questions one by one in later posts? We'll see!