Why I don't want to be a good person.

Too much pressure.

Ok, ok, I'll preface.

I come face to face with the argument "I'm not worried about what happens after death, I'm a good person" on a pretty regular basis. Sometimes it's a discussion I have with myself about people I know, sometimes it's a discussion with another person.

Who wouldn't want to believe that all good people go to heaven? I sure do. But that doesn't make it believable... not because it shouldn't be true, but because of that word... GOOD. It's quite problematic.

First of all, who defines what it is to be "good"?

I think we can pretty much agree that it's impossible to be 100% good all the time. So how much good are we talking here? The mathematician in me says at least 50% good must be required, as that would round up to completely good. So then, what would be the difference between a person who is 49% good versus 50% good? One more dollar in the Salvation Army Ringer's tin bucket?

And what if you just happen to pass away when you're not at a particularly good point in your life? Like say today, you're only 49% good, but tomorrow you were going to decide to donate all your worldly goods to the needy, but too bad you pass away tonight and didn't get to do that.

On top of that... who decides what it means to be a good person? I think most people who know me would say I'm a "give the person the benefit of the doubt" kinda girl and would say that most people I meet are pretty good people. But I know of plenty of people who don't share my feelings and wouldn't consider the same person "good" that I would. Who's opinion matters? And do you need to consider yourself a good person as well, or is that considered prideful, and hence not good, so you need to think of yourself as not good to be considered good?

I think you can see the problem here.

It's impossible to define "good" in such a way to concretely determine someone's eternity... to know exactly "where they will go" after death. It is, actually, quite possible, and quite simple, to know one's fate with faith in Christ. I think a lot of the issue may actually come with the fact that it seems too simple, too inclusive. "So, you're saying I just need to believe Christ died for my sins, and my fate is sealed?" Well, in a word, absolutely. But, with true faith, with a genuine relationship with the God who created you, the Son who died for you & the father who gave Him to us, and the Spirit that fills us with purpose, belief, reassurance, love, patience, etc etc, comes the desire to be good, to be Christ-like, and, yes, the guilt you feel when you do something you know is not good.

So, for me, I don't want to rely on my "goodness" to get me through this life and into heaven. No... I'll live by faith, and trust my convictions, my feelings, and my Lord to lead me to be "good" in the eyes of others. And not that that's always easy, but at least I'm never alone.

**Now, I try to look at this post from a non-believer's perspective, or someone who once believed has since turned away, and I do see where questsions come up, doubts arise, anger/frustration/bad feelings/you know what I'm saying.... I do try to look at every issue from as many perspectives as I can, and learn more about other perspectives so I can answer those questions myself. I'm still searching, but that's a part of faith that, while I have difficulty accepting sometimes, I also feel secure in the fact that I don't need to have all of the answers either. That being said... maybe we'll address questions one by one in later posts? We'll see!

Christmas Card Fail.

CC Fail #1:
Christmas cards are not a big deal in my family.

I don't remember getting Christmas cards when I was younger. I'm sure we did receive some, but they weren't displayed (sorry to those who took the time to sign, address, stamp, and seal each card) until... goodness... late high school? Early college?

Eh... it was no big deal.

And then I got married. Our first Christmas was a blur (we were married 3 days before, afterall), but I do remember someone saying that we were included on the in-laws Christmas card, so no big deal this year. Then, right around our first Thanksgiving together, my husband asked if I was going to send out a card this year. I remember giving him a bit of a look, probably a long the lines of "Why would we do that??", and saying I didn't think we needed to (in my defense, I WAS 8 months pregnant).

Then, sure enough, that first week of December, the Christmas cards starting ROLLING IN. Couples, families, extended families... pretty much everyone in Morris & Hancock, and one from my Grandma Rae.

Needless to say, I've sent out a Christmas card every year since then, and Chad and I even had a snap shot on this year's! I actually really like doing it, and I love getting the cards most of all.

CC Fail #2:
OK, so Chad wants to do a Christmas letter. He's brought it up in the past, but my goodness... one thing at a time! We thought we'd give it a legitimate effort this year. I made the first attempt, but was stopped mid paragraph when Chad said, "I don't want it to be a brag letter... nothing like 'Abby turned two this year and likes Dora, princesses, and horsies...'" My first paragraph, I kid you not, was pretty much exactly that. Chad, instead, thought it would be best to come up with a "top ten" list for the year. We got to 6 things that we thought other people would find interesting... which took up maybe 1/3rd of a page when double spaced.

To make a long story short.... no Christmas letter this year! But... I do want to keep track of the things I loved this year, so here are the Nuest's top 6!

*Abby potty trained in just a matter of days.
*As a result of Abby's potty success, Sally-a-Tiger Nuest joined the family in August (that's what happens when you let a 2 year old name your kitty).
*Dakotah has run away on the 3 coldest days of the year, but never on a summer day. She's come back on her own twice!
*Jett has a ridiculous amount of teeth and hasn't stopped drooling since he was born.
*We've been constantly entertained with "Abby-isms": "Her's a nice girl, mom" (I've never heard her say 'she'!), "Oh hi sweetheart!" as she hugs her kitty when we get home, lots and lots of singing, and "I tooted!" in the middle of Mommy's staff meeting.
*Jett-man doesn't say much, besides "Uh-oh", which, if you've spent even an hour with him, you realize just how appropriate this phase is for our busy busy busy little boy!

Merry Christmas:)