Why I believe. Part 1.

I believe because without a Creator, I have no purpose.





Do you know what it feels like to be an "accident"? I do. If you think about the fact that my parents were married in March of '83 and I was born in September of '83 (full term, mind you), it only takes a little math to realize I was not only unplanned, but that I brought on a "change of plans". This isn't uncommon, I know, but when your parents have struggled in their marriage and your mom has even gone so far to tell you that your dad is not her soul mate, that he wasn't the one she was supposed to marry, you start to question the role you played in bringing them together and even why you're here.





I thought about this often in my life, from early on and throughout most of college.





I had heard all the lines when I was growing up... God knows the hairs on my head, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, etc, but, it didn't hit home until my senior year of college when I was reading "The Purpose Driven Life" and came across Rick Warren's line:





"You were created by God and for God, and until you realize that, nothing in this world will make sense."





This statement brought all of those "lines" home for me. I was no accident. God created me. Everything I am, every trait I was given, was on purpose. I am exactly what God intended as a friend, daughter, sister, wife & mother.





And, furthermore, I was created for God. Do you see the future in that three letter word? God has a plan, a plan for me. I have a destiny, I have things I gotta do, I have races to run and the good fight to fight. I will serve a purpose for Him, the Almighty God! Little old me. Amazing.





I was in a very dark place in my life when I finally came to this realization. I know what it did for me, and my heart breaks for those who don't realize that they were created, they are purposeful, there is a reason they are here.





I am created. I am here on purpose.

Three years ago today.

Little Miss Abby was born at 8:48 on Thursday, Jan 3. She was 5 lb, 4 oz, 19 in long and was the most beautiful creation I'd ever seen.

I remember the couple weeks leading up to her birth very well. Excitement, discomfort, anxiety, hope, and not a whole lot of patience (my first post on this blog was on Jan 2, 2008... I think my mood was pretty evident:)). But, when she decided she was ready to show up, I felt like the whole world stopped.... and in a way, it did.

The world, my world, changed. The old one disappeared, and the new one seemed to turn in an entirely different direction.

This world brought new perspectives, fears, pains, joys, hopes, and a more beautiful love.

Everything was more meaningful. Everything mattered.

It's amazing how a little baby, not even six pounds, can have such a profound impact.... and even more amazing is that she continues to modify my world every single day.

I love my Abby Jo. I am so thankful for her tender heart, her motherly tendencies, her one liners, her laugh, and, yes, even her sassiness. But, most of all, I treasure her complete, absolute, genuine joy in everyday things. She is the most beautiful girl I know.

Happy Birthday to My Sweet Abby Jo! I love you!